Title:  A Case of Murder

Author:  Bluebirds_sings  (Tina)

Genre:  AU/AU

Pairing:  Jack/Ennis

Rating:  very mildly rated NC-14

Disclaimer:  the characters belong to Annie Proulx; no profit from this

Feedback: oh yes, I like it!!!

My heartfelt thanks, as always, to dear Beth (bcatjr) for her huge and astounding work as beta.

Dedication: Fridayblues kicked my butt to make me write something longish, so I made up my mind and tried to write a short AU/AU one-shot from Ennis POV.  Then Beth (bcatjr) urged me to turn it into a multi-chaptered story.  The result of my efforts is dedicated to them both.

CHAPTER NINE

ON THE WINGS OF A KISS

Jack heard the low rumble of a pickup pulling into the parking lot, and he couldn’t help a huge foolish grin when he spotted Ennis coming forward, then ringing the bell at his door.

“I was waiting for you,” Jack said, swinging the door open.  A gust of wind blew his hair every which way.

Following him into the apartment, Ennis brushed past him, his warm brown glance lingering on him way longer than on anything else around them.   “Am I that predictable?” he asked, a tinge of amusement in his voice.

“It’s the fourth evening that you’ve come by, bringing with you pics of potential suspects.  So yes, you are,” Jack countered rather pleased, losing himself into the sight of Ennis’ soft blondish curls.  Those curls that made him seem so young when he was relaxed.  And relaxed he looked just now, smiling his little shy smile, remnants of daily light dancing in his eyes.

When Ennis walked into the living room and threw down his black folder filled with snapshots and notes, Jack told him about his conversation with Valerie McKentzy. 

“The chat was general enough, but as it proceeded, I felt more and more uneasy, as if she was fishing for information,” Jack said, sighing as he glanced at Ennis, who cocked an eyebrow at him and listened attentively, holding in one hand some papers he took from the office.   Then pensively Jack added, “Don’t know, but by the time she bought the cigar box and left, I felt as if her husband’s outline could fit the figure I saw against the streetlamp that night.”

A muttered, “Huh,” followed by a companionable silence was all the contribution Ennis provided to their talk.   But the caring attention that Jack felt embracing him, and that he knew was Ennis’ special gift for him, helped him greatly to gather his thoughts.  So, when Ennis slid a glance in his direction, Jack asked in a low voice, “Did you ever find out who called the police telling them what had happened?” 

Jack felt like it took ages for Ennis to answer, so he added dejectedly, “I know I was supposed to do it myself, but I didn’t.  And I know that it’s pretty odd, but I was like paralyzed with shock.   Not scared by the murderer actually, not simply petrified at what I saw, but overwhelmed by an uncontrollable flow of all the worst memories I had stored at the back of my mind from long ago.  It simply seemed that I’m not yet done with my father and his hatred.”

Ennis stepped toward him, gaze so troubled that Jack felt as if he were searching for his inner pain and maybe try to heal what Jack’d been trying to hide for so long.

They stood in silence for a long moment, Ennis tenderly cradling Jack’s cheeks in his open palms.  “Don’t you worry none, Jack,” he murmured reassuringly, “the medical examiner says the man died almost instantly.  The force of the hit severely damaged his skull, knocking him unconscious as he fell to his back.  Even if you had called, by the time an ambulance could’ve come along he’d had already drowned in his own blood.”

Confused and hurting, Jack couldn’t adjust to the idea of this man dying alone, his life ended by a guy who hated him so much to do something that neither him nor anybody else could undo anymore.   There was something in the shock Jack’d had that night that was rooted in his childhood.  He could almost hear in his head his father’s snorts of contempt, almost see his stony stare, his gestures of deprecation that constantly led to slaps.  As a boy, Jack’d never been able to speak his mind, or to throw a punch back.  And now, as a grown up, all those memories morphed into the helpless, silent plead he saw in Parker’s eyes. 

Jack was shaken from his thoughts at Ennis’ pensive sigh.   “Who called the police, anyway?” Jack asked again, calmly, while Ennis was brushing his cheeks with warm fingertips.

“The janitor who takes care of the building in front of the one in which Parker lived.  He called us around six, as soon as he went out to sweep the sidewalk and saw the corpse,” was Ennis’ plain answer.  Then he added, a note of concern in his voice, “Stop upsetting yourself, Jack.”

Taking a sharp breath, Jack couldn’t do anything but whisper. “I’m sorry, Ennis.  It’s the only thing I have been thinking on.”

Ennis nodded.  Then, as if he were concerned by the silence, he grumbled, “What’s the deal with your father, anyhow?”

Jack’s hand lingered for a moment, tracing a line on Ennis' shoulder.  “He hates my guts.  Always did,” he said, lowering his eyes and searching for the right words.  “No matter what I did, he always yelled at me for something I might have missed.  Or beat me for something I might have done different.”

Ennis hesitated, as if waiting for him to add something.  Then with confidence he insisted on asking, “But why?  How could he?”   

Jack, who usually delighted in friendly chatter, found it really hard to unfold these memories that he’d struggled with and had kept buried for such a long time.  It was hard for him to say what he needed to say.   He was well aware of the imagined charm that a fatherly figure had to Ennis, who didn’t know what it was like to have a father in his life since that car wreck, that had taken his parents so many years before, when he was just a little child.  Ennis had to have felt helpless that day, when someone came and told him that an accident had swept his previous life away.  The same as Jack felt helpless for thousands of times in front of his father’s anger.  So he was sure that it had to be tough on Ennis to realize that sometimes parents could make their children unhappy living as well as dying, and he had to summon all his courage if he wanted to explain to Ennis why his father’s rage made him seem like some monster to his young self, until he grew up and finally got tired of trying to make things work with the old bastard.  

Moreover, in order to make clear what it really was all about with his dad, Jack needed to come out to Ennis.   He needed to tell Ennis the truth in any case, or he was sure he’d be regretting that choice sooner or later.  Up until a few days ago, pretending to be something else with Ennis seemed to be the best choice.  Pretending that his feelings weren’t there so he could keep their friendship safe.  But now, it had become harder than he ever expected it to be. 

Tonight it wasn’t an option anymore.   

So, with trembling lips he admitted his secret.  “Ennis, I’m gay.”   His voice faltered as he searched Ennis’ face for a reaction, his mind heavy with worry.   “My father never acknowledged it.  Always fought me, either thinking it was my fault or being afraid that having a son such as me was a shame to him.  That me being this way made him less than a man.”

To his surprise, Ennis took his speech in quietly and in his gaze, Jack found a loneliness that matched his own.  So he reached out with shaky hands and touched Ennis’s face.

Very slowly, while keeping a tight hold of Jack’s back, Ennis lifted his face.  Jack’s thumb rested lightly on Ennis’s jaw.   Jack lost himself in brown, soft eyes.  Then his lids became too heavy to stay open.  His lips played slowly and softly with warm, surprisingly full and wet lips of the man before him.   Then Ennis kissed him back.  Their lips crushed together and Jack’s throbbing crotch pressed and rubbed against Ennis’s own. Jack could feel the heat coming from Ennis and they kissed again, sweet moistened tongues sealing their first bright moment of bliss.

Jack slowly broke the kiss, and with a large smile, glanced at Ennis.

There was so much going on between them, so many feelings that Jack felt certain that Ennis had to learn how to acknowledge them.  But, in the meanwhile, Jack would cherish this moment and take it in.  He said in a soft, purring voice: “It’s alright, Ennis.  It’s alright.”

Ennis stood with an almost childlike expression on his face while Jack’s heart was thumping madly.   “Well,” he said faltering but smiling, his face flushed, “You’re gay and maybe me, too.  Maybe.  Don’t really know, Jack.  It’s the first time I…” he tried to explain, Jack hearing the quiver in his voice for what was happening between them. 

“I know,” assured Jack, needing Ennis so badly he didn’t know how to stand it if he was ever to slip away.  “You need time to work things out. That’s alright.”

They ended up sitting and talking while they drank some whiskey.  Jack twisted the glass around with his fingers, Ennis silently sipping. 

The fire crackled in the fireplace while they looked over the pictures that Ennis had brought.  Ennis was watchful and thorough, so much so that he asked Jack to look them over again a second time.  Some half an hour later, when looking revealed nothing interesting or new to the investigation, Jack asked Ennis to a movie. 

* * * * *

Darkness and noise gave Jack the opportunity to softly whisper remarks about the crappy story on the screen, Ennis’ short answers bringing puffs of warm breath to his ear which made it tingle.  The narrow seats kept them close to each other, a nearness that Ennis seemed to appreciate as he lingered affectionately on Jack’s arm.  Their hands constantly touched some spot on the other’s arms or legs.  Jack’s hand drifted to Ennis’ thigh, and Ennis offered Jack a knowing smile, not moving his leg away.

Jack’s mind was a ball of emotions when they left the theatre and silently walked back towards Jack’s house.   When they said their good-byes, Ennis simply stared into the dark with the unconcerned and far-away look of someone who was sailing through still waters after having survived a dreadful storm.  

He ambled away without another word, Jack holding onto the sweetness of their newly shared intimacy. 

TBC